Understanding Relationship, Prighteousness, and Repentance
By Dr. Butch Varner
The difference was that individuals were seeking God’s holiness through legalism instead of relationship. The Hebrew word for holiness is quadesh קָדַשׁ.
This is a misunderstanding of quadesh. Learning Japanese actually helped me with this. The Japanese characters are pictograms of something. For instance, Ni-Pon, which is the Japanese name of Japan is the Characters: is the symbol for Sun and Origin, which is where we get the Land of the Rising Sun.
Quedesh, when put together pictographically means The Pathway to the neck of the El Shaddai. This is communicating the Fathership of God, and having a relationship with God our Father. This is not legalism but relationship.
The Theme of relationship is a trend throughout the Bible. God is our father, God works through family, God wants a relationship with this person on an individual basis and a collective basis. In Hebrew, the word for faith is a symbol of a mother nursing a child. This is an intimate relationship and is necessary to enter into faith with God, relationship. The Hebrew word is Aman אָמַן. to support, confirm, be faithful
(Qal)
to support, confirm, be faithful, uphold, nourish
foster-father (subst.)
foster-mother, nurse
pillars, supporters of the door
(Niphal)
to be established, be faithful, be carried, make firm
to be carried by a nurse
the made firm, sure, lasting
confirmed, established, sure
verified, confirmed
reliable, faithful, trusty
(Hiphil)
to stand firm, to trust, to be certain, to believe in
stand firm
trust, believe
(Qal)
to support, confirm, be faithful, uphold, nourish
foster-father (subst.)
foster-mother, nurse
pillars, supporters of the door
(Niphal)
to be established, be faithful, be carried, make firm
to be carried by a nurse
the made firm, sure, lasting
confirmed, established, sure
verified, confirmed
reliable, faithful, trusty
(Hiphil)
to stand firm, to trust, to be certain, to believe in
stand firm
trust, believe
Also, when we think of God, his very nature is love and relationship. Historical Christianity portrays God as one being with three persons, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. This is an essential concept of Christianity, which separates Judeo-Christianity from other beliefs and that is we serve a God that wants a relationship. If we were to compare this to Islam, for instance, Islam’s Allah desires submission, not relationship. Whereas the God of Christianity desires relationship.
James 2:23
And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend.
This is a theme that goes throughout the Bible. This is an area that has become lost in the modern American church. We have lost the emphasis on friendship and relationship. Friendship with God is a powerful concept that transforms our minds. The world is dark and hurting. The individuals in the world have lost their connection with God and others. Therefore a revival of friendship is needed in order to restore love in the hearts of people.
One of the issues that arise here is that many individuals have no idea how to love and do not know what a healthy relationship is. If one did not undergo a healthy relationship, then they do not know how to transmit a healthy relationship. This reflects in religious practice. Unhealthy relationships possess eroding boundaries. REligious abuse has eroding boundaries. Healthy relationships allow for individuality.
The need for love is essential. God is love, and we need love.
1 John 4
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Love is something that the enemy cannot fake or emulate.
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues[fn] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[fn] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
The Greatest of these is love; love is the most powerful force in the universe.
Historical religion co-opted by man has created a milieu of judgmentalism and strict rules. Even when reading the Old Testament we discover that God is always changing the rules, and going by the exception of the Rule, and surprising humanity with being unpredictable. One thematic arena of the Bible is giving life to the barren. We see this theme over and over, where man cannot produce Children (begging with Abraham), and God miraculously providing a Child.
This is the aspect of the Kingdom of God. This is what separates Christianity from every other faith system. This is what makes Christianity unique. This is that God is love. God, Yawheh exists in eternal relationship with himself. If we understand this we understand that he is inviting us into a relationship with him.
Understanding this call to relationship, we can understand how to redirect our focus in redefining ministry. We must ask ourselves, is our ministry effective? If our ministry is not effective, then we must examine the call to which we have been called. No matter how elaborate our ministry constructs have become, we must return to the essentiality of our call. We are not in ministry for ourselves. Rather, we die to self in Christ, and then we live the call that he has called us to. This impacts relationships in a pure way by eliminating selfish ambition. When we realize that God’s plan is greater than any plan we could design for ourselves, then we realize there is no room for selfish ambition and the warnings of Colossians Three.
COL 3
1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your[fn] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[fn] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Unlocking the Gates to the Kingdom
Often, the most simple concepts, on the surface, can be the most complex below. This is true when we attempt to bring the fivefold ministry gifts together. Also, this togetherness is needed to fulfill the great commission in our lives and on the earth. When we understand this, we realize that these principles bring about effortless victory in a method to harness the purpose of the Lord on this earth.
Often, the most simple concepts, on the surface, can be the most complex below. This is true when we attempt to bring the fivefold ministry gifts together. Also, this togetherness is needed to fulfill the great commission in our lives and on the earth. When we understand this, we realize that these principles bring about effortless victory in a method to harness the purpose of the Lord on this earth.
This is an essential concept that Satan battles, because, when done properly, this precept brings about unity. Unity creates an unstoppable force.
In order to build God's Church, it is essential that we work together with the five-fold ministry gifts. This is the Ephesian’s methodology of building the church through the power of the Holy Spirit and the book of Acts. Just because I mentioned the power of the Holy Spirit please do not be afraid to apply this methodology to any type of Christian Church. Your church does not have to be Pentecostal or charismatic in order to apply the five-fold ministry gifts. The five-fold ministry gifts are a gift to all of the body of Christ.
One obstacle to this is our Western culture. The Bible comes from a Near Eastern culture, whereas we interpret things from Western culture. Western culture is individualistic. This means that we tend to compartmentalize the fivefold ministry. The work of the prophet, apostle, pastor, evangelist, and teacher. We tend to make these separate corporate offices.
Near Eastern culture is more collectivistic. In other words, there is more working together of these roles, which produces synergy. The collectivism creates a system of cooperation that does not happen in the West. In the West, the Pastoral gift is generally seen as the head of a church, and the evangelist is usually a guest speaker. When the guest speaker departs, then it is business back as usual.
So what does it mean to employ the ministry gifts? Ministry gifting comes from a deep-seated column that gives an individual a heart and passion for that gift. Evangelist has little time to listen to the cares and wounds of the congregation. The pastor has little time to grow his church in to reach out and transform his community. However, if we roll these together, a powerful synergistic dynamic occurs that manifests itself with a creative reality that will transform the local church and the community that the local church is engaged in.
So let's examine these two gifts in light of the work of Christ and see have these two giftings work together in a manner that will transform the world.
In order to gain an understanding and insight into these roles, we must disembark from our Western understanding and embrace the near Eastern understanding of the first century that we can eliminate the word meanings of what is going on.
the first usage of the word pastor comes from the book of Jeremiah Chapter 17 verse 16. It is important to examine the linguistics involved so that we can delve into the cultural milieu of the statement. As a result then, the Hebrew word used is is the word ra’ah
רָעָה .
Raah does mean to be a shepherd and leader, but it also means to graze and feed in the field of the Lord. The implication here is that for the Pastor, the Lord opens up a field for them to glean, to feed, to refresh themselves, as well as to lead the flock into the same activities. This means that the field gives the Pastor and the flock a sense of purpose. Now, let us examine this sense of purpose.
When Jesus called his disciples, he not only called them but also “called them”, giving them a sense of purpose. The word that was used in Greek is an interesting word. Again, it is important to look into the linguistics so that we gain a deeper meaning and not just a peripheral reading that we get in our own cultural setting.
It would be exactly like reading a letter without knowing the time period, linguistic intricacies, and the background of the authors. In modern English, speakers may use the word bad to connote something as bad or good, interchangeably.
The word that is used by the Greek word kaleo. Kaleo is interesting since it means to both call and to assign purpose and calling. When I do therapy with individuals, I find that they are often wounded in the area of identity. Identity wounds can lead to many difficulties in the ability to function with oneself and others.
The Goal of the Lord is to build us together in a holy temple. The problem here is that American Culture is an individualistic culture, whereas Near Eastern Culture (Biblical Culture) is a collectivistic or community culture. Due to this, Westerners are generally OK with staying an individual. The problem, however, is that we miss out on the transformation that occurs when we are collective. One can maintain a false self in an individualistic culture. However, within the transformation of authentic relationships, the true core of one’s identity is revealed. This core is raw and barren of mechanisms to hide. This then leads us to the ekkaelo, or the ekklessia nature of the kaleo. In this, we are called together to love God and each other, in an authentic manner. This requires a unity that is uncommon. Many individuals are not self-aware and lack authenticity with themselves. They use masks to hide their pain and shame that is accumulated around their psyche. Christ has raised us beyond this. We cannot love others until we learn to love ourselves. This may sound counter-intuitive, however, the New Testament deals with the term “soul” quite a bit. While individuals have given colloquial meaning to this term, the Greek term is actually psuche, where we develop the word psychology from. Science does not conflict with the Bible, rather, science is the quest for truth, the word of God is truth, therefore science complements the Bible. Within the concept of psychology, we discover that the manner to which we treat yourself in the subconscious mind is the manner to which we treat others. Therefore, if we hate ourselves, then we become critical and judgemental of others. If we love ourselves, we then lift others up. Selfishness, therefore, is a rendering of self-hate which becomes overcompensated through a need to feed oneself emotional content, at the expense of others. True self-love then become love for others.
The externalized conflict stems from the internalized conflict that was created within the subconscious mind in the family one grew up. Psychology is taunted by others in that there is a perception that Psychologist blames everything on childhood. This is not the case. However, The internalized subconscious conflict originates in the family one grew up since this part of the brain stops growing at around age seven. This emotional part of the brain internalizes and becomes the subconscious program that guides and directs the rest of the brain in a manner that is analogous to an operating system of a computer. I use this analogy since this analogy is close to the actual neuro morphological apparatus.
We carry old emotions from childhood, and these raw emotions get connected to new thoughts. These new thoughts and emotions seem new to us but are actually remnants of the programming of our subconscious in the limbic system of the brain. As a result then, if we are in conflict with ourselves, we remain in conflict with others. The Kaleo process of Jesus was one to confront an individual to confront themselves. In fact, there are ancient “sayings” scripts of Jesus that record this. Even without these scripts, one can determine the same meaning from the ancient usage of the Greek word kaleo.
How then do we make this practical? A system runs on information and transaction. The word of encouragement lifts others up. How many times do we see couples and or families arrive at church smiling, and then argue as soon as they get into the car to leave?
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
The only thing that should come out of our mouth is to build up instead of tear down. The family system, and the individual needs a kaleo activity of encouragement and activity of building one another up.
When my children were young, I understood that building them up was important. When they got in trouble, I had a phraseology that I used with them. I told them: You are a beautiful and wonderful child of God, your behavior does not match how awesome you are. Can you control your behavior?
This was a result of my study of the kaleo. Individuals behave from the position that they see themselves. If I tear down their self-image, they will behave that way. So then, I built up their self-esteem instead of tearing it down. This created an opportunity for them to think and evaluate themselves instead of control. Control is the opposite of a healthy relationship. Instead of control, we want to influence. Influence individuals to think for themselves produces healthy individuality in a way that creates health.
My sons became self-controlled adults and make excellent choices for themselves. It is important then to communicate the essential nature of God which is Love.
1 John 4:16
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
Kaleo also expresses confidence instead of fear. When we can abandon fear, we can grow beyond a timid infolding of the human identity, but rather rise in confidence in a manner that God can use us.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
When Jesus encountered his disciples, he brought them in as friends. He then encouraged them and transformed their identity from fishermen to fishers of men.
This incredible and transformative encounter follows the paradigm of the ultimate usage of the word kaleo.
I think that we have grafted an incorrect context of the New Testament Message. Jesus begins his ministry by stating repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. I think a Western reader reads this with the connotation that we must get our lives together and because the Kingdom is coming. In Matthew 4 we see Jesus preach:
17 From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”
Remember, Jesus puts this in the context of Isaiah 9 which tells the people they have seen a great light. Now let us examine this in the Greek.
4:17 ἀπὸ τότε ἤρξατο ὁ Ἰησοῦς κηρύσσειν καὶ λέγειν μετανοεῖτε ἤγγικεν γὰρ ἡ βασιλεία τῶν οὐρανῶν
Now, focus on the Greek word: μετανοέω metanoeō
This word means to transform the way you are thinking of things, the kingdom is open to you. The Western reading contains a judgmental tone, whereas the Greek rendering has a tone of hope and encouragement in line with the kaleo context. As a result, then, we go to the world to offer hope, not judgment.
John 3:
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
Jesus came to save the world, not to condemn the world. When Jesus came to preach the Kingdom, he came to preach the opportunity not condemnation. As a result, then, does the concept of Kaleo give us a new understanding? After Jesus brought his disciples into his company, he began a deeper form of encouragement called parakaleo.
The Greek terminology for encouragement is the parakaleo form. One could translate this with encouragement. An encouragement where someone stands beside you. Ministry is about encouragement. When dealing with human motivation, we find that encouragement is a positive motivator, which works much more effectively than a negative motivator, or punishment. When we get into the modality of “Hellfire and brimstone”, we are actually using the word of God incorrectly.
Jesus did not tell us to spread this message around the world, in fact, Jesus commanded us to share “good news”, this is what evangelism means.
The Hellfire and brimstone message comes from the apocalyptic genres of the Bible. The background to Apocalyptic books is that of great suffering upon God’s people, and God’s vengeance against their enemies. In the Old Testament, this would have been against Assyria and Babylon (Modern Day Syria and Iraq). In the New Testament, the apocalypse is against Nero and the corrupt Roman Empire of the time. Jesus never told sinners they were going to hell. The only hell messages, in the sayings of Jesus, were directed toward the Religious leaders. Jesus also uses the term “hell” to mock the religious leaders of the day. Jesus uses oriental hyperbole in the sermon on the mount about plucking out body members. This was a way of showing how ridiculous the teaching of the Pharisees was. Also, when Jesus taught, he used the word: γέεννα geenna. This word means the fire pit of the kidron valley. It is interesting that we have brought in the anachronism of medieval Greco-Roman hell imagery into our common theology.
How does this inform us? The power of life. The power of life opens the human soul (psyche). Unless the psyche changes there is no change. In my Doctoral Dissertation, I studied the question: What is true transformation? In other words, when does someone actually change? Behaviors are empowered by the thought process, the thought process is empowered by the underlying subconscious conditioning. This lies in the neuroconectivigy of the brain. When this changes at a deep level, then the actual structure of the neural connectivity changes (neuromorphology). There is no real change in behavior until all of these factors align. This will not happen unless someone actually opens the conditions of their psyche. No one will ever open this until they are brought into an environment where they will not feel condemned. This is why Jesus’ ministry was so effective. Jesus created an environment where a Rabbi accepted people. When we look to the ministry of Luke, we see a Messiah that is moved by the poor, the sinner, outcast women, lepers. Everyone else judged these people. Jesus moved them to openness. This is where real change comes from. The word repentance (metagnoia) does not mean to confess one's sin. The word repentance means opening one's mind to transformation.
Now, how to revolutionize the world with this reality? How then do we transform the lives of so many by coming to this state of the condition? This brings about so much power for opportunity and change. This is the power of kaleo. A call to newness, a call to openness, a call to opportunity. Further, this is something that everyone wants. Also, I am not teaching anything new. I am uncovering what was forgotten and bringing it to our current reality.
If we can embrace this, we connect with ancient truths that can radically change everything. This also brings us to the reality of Kaleo to Parakaleo. Parakaleo is when we exercise the reality of Kaleo with someone in an authentic Journey. This authentic journey feeds the human heart and soul what the average human existence does not. In modern society, we are electronically connected, however, modern humanity is lonelier than ever. When we Parakaleo, we do not just introduce someone with salvation, but we connect them into a body that is growing. Introducing someone into a growing body revolutionizes their lives.
In the west, it is an oversimplification to see salvation as simply a decision. A decision does not require parakaleo, however, parakaleo was essential to Jesus’ ministry. This may be in a cultural misunderstanding. During the second great awakening, salvation becomes more of a decision, from the latin deciso, which means to cut. This is a linear point in time when one sees oneself as saved and cut off from an old life. If we delve into the early church, we see a church that has not become the orthodox church that we know today. The early Church was diverse, and the early Church was near eastern in thought. The ministry outside of Jerusalem, of Paul and the Johannine community, was proto gnostic and proto orthodox. The community was also not individualistic, as we see ourselves in the Western world. The Church believed in the community, and believed that transformation took place in the community. As we know, decisions do not always lead to transformation. How many times have we told ourselves that we were going to give up on sweets, only to embrace those sweets later that same day? Transformation is much deeper. The word repent appears in the Synoptic Gospels, however, in the Fourth Gospel, there is no mention of the word. It is interesting that the core to salvific experience does not mention repentance. This would occur in John Chapter Three. John Three deals with belief, pistouo. This is a military term about faithfulness within a unit. When we go back to the possible Aramaic or Hebrew usage, the word would be Amam. This word is about the relationship. This word has a context of the community packed into it. This word is the symbolism of a mother nursing a child. Unless we have this relationship with God, we are without. This is much more than mental ascension. Now, when we go to the Synoptics, we reengage the concept of Repentance. This word is metagnoia. This too is much more than mental ascension. This has to do with the transformational cognitive process which is found in community and relationship. As a result, salvific experience occurs in community and relationship with help from others and encouragement, parakaleo. This then leads to ek-kaleo. To be encouraged out of the world and into a community of love and caring.
The next word usage come to the kaleo form that we translate as the Church. This is the word ek kaleo, which when put together comes to us as ekklesia. One could directly translate this as called out together. However, the meaning here is much deeper. One could say this means to be counseled together, the ones who are growing and transformed together. This also means to be identified together.
Identity is at the core of mental health. Most of the Psychological theories point back to the development of a healthy and stable identity as essentiality for mental health.
Knowing who one is developing the power to cope with life. One must know who they are in order to interact with the world around them. This, on a prima facie level, seems to be simple and straightforward. However, abusive and mentally unstable families produce individuals with an unhealthy identity. The Unstable identity leads to so many problems. Many teenagers today engage in drugs, illicit sex, and self-harm. These behaviors are generated from an unstable identity. This is why Kaleo/Parakaleo/Ekklesia is so important.
If we look back into the Bible, especially the Old Testament, we see a great deal of inculturation. Inculturation works to give individuals an identity. We are created in God’s image. Therefore, we should spend a lifetime helping others realize this tremendous potential within themselves. Since we are made in God’s likeness, then there is an eternity of potential that needs to be developed within us. Without the proper guidance and leadership, then this amazing identity sits in a disambiguous fog.
This fog becomes a void of emptiness and pain, seeking solace, without the creator's voice amplified into us. This becomes an amazing journey and effort. Taking the tabula rasa of a disfigured identity and painting a lovely portrait. Otherwise, the individuals drift through life in void and pain.
I have done therapy with these individuals. Parents do not realize that the home is the birthplace of positive relationships or evil. The first seven years of communication interactions get internalized into the subconscious mind. These become the behavior motivations that we are not aware of, without the growth of self-actualization. Again, think back to Jesus giving us Identity through kaleo and parakaleo. Are we responding the to the authentic call of the Master? The Authentic call of the master melts away falsehood. Why would I say this? There is a backside to all of this, or one may say, a dark side to all of this. Instead of allowing the revealing nature of the call, individuals respond to Christianity as a cover or scab to their pain which creates a chasm of seething mass that projects their pain on to others. So, instead of life flowing through the individual, the individual vomits and spews pain, criticism, and condemnation. This produces the family system of the children in pain with massive identity wounds, in many ways is the generation that we are working with today. Therefore, it is essential that we demask the unauthentic and heal under the scab, so that the scab is not needed anymore.
Inauthenticity is the core of evil. One day, while I was Pastoring, a mother came to me. She told me that she wanted me to talk to her son because she was afraid that he was at a risk of taking drugs. I met with her son. He was fifteen, highly intelligent, but socially awkward. I am a fan of science fiction, so I connected to him in that way. This is part of the Kaleo, Parakeleo process, to engage someone where they are with genuine love and care, and no judgement. He opened up to me. He told me that his mother attends every religious meeting in town. She pestered the day and makes him go to church. At church, she acts spiritual, but when she gets home she is highly critical and judges and gossips about everyone. The Kaleo process is about filling up the hearts of others with the life-giving good news of the gospel. This is not what was happening. This woman was hiding all of her pain and venom under a mask of religiosity. This produces rebellion in the heart of others. When the mother came to me asked me for a follow up with my meeting with her son, I did not sugar coat it. Before I tell you what I told her, I will prepare you. Sometimes the Lord takes over and says things that seem to come out of nowhere. At this time, I told this woman what she needed to hear. I told her that If I were her son I would definitely be thinking about taking drugs. She did not like what I had to say. At this time, however, she needed a confrontation with the truth. She left my church, and I was glad. If someone cannot endure the truth, then they need to go somewhere else.
2 Timothy 4:3
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
When, as men and women of God, we do not judge people, but we must confront people with the truth, in love.
2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction.
Kaleo operates in love, however, it is not afraid to speak the truth. I cannot tell you a technique here, but rather, this comes from a dynamic relationship with the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of wisdom that will guide you into all things. This is where we must lay down our own agendas and take up the mission of the Lord.
John 16:13 “When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” In this verse, Jesus is speaking to His disciples about the Holy Spirit.
Speaking of the Holy Spirit, Parakaleo is used in reference to him. Parakaleo takes on the form of Paraklete. Paraklete is the personified counselor that dwells within us. In this instance, we have a divine presence that is counseling us. We are being comforted and counseled as we listen to the direction of the Holy Spirit.
This is a divine transformative process that walks among us. We can listen to the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit, as our counselor guides us into all truth. In this way we see a synergistic model forming that allies our life that we live with the power of the Holy Spirit to walk through our daily living.
The Holy Spirit activates the kaleo model in a manner to transform the individual.
In Western society, we have a tendency to see things in a linear static perspective, instead of a dynamic systemic perspective. Kaleo, is one of those words. Kaleo becomes alive, dynamic, systemic concept. Today, it seems that evangelism seems segmented. In other words, there is no handoff. One gets saved, then one goes to church where they are cared for and disciplined. However, is this a system? Is this a thriving process? Is this intentional? Or, does this come together by accident, or serendipity, depending on how it is viewed? The body of Christ needs to come together and be connected. When we are connected we can then pursue a system and a process that is alive and dynamic.
The dynamics of the system are in the process of looking. When we are on fire by the Holy Spirit, we then have the radiance, the glow, the warmth, and the attraction of God. This is our conduit to the world. The heart of God is in the world, not out of the world. When we want to find the heart of God, we find it in the world. By going into the world, we light up the darkness with the fire of the Holy Spirit. This is the beacon to mankind. We do not have to search hard for people, people will be drawn to our light. We must be equipped with the life-giving kaleo calling in our hearts, and ready to share that comfort and call with others. When we open our mouths, we are opening our hearts to that calling. The life-giving word crosses the gap to the heart of the individual and offers a great plan for them. Do they know that God has a tremendous plan, destiny, and the future for them? Have they ever heard this before? Kaleo brings life and love together to the darkness and the loneliness of the human heart and bridges the gap of separation into the inclusion of a system and identity. This is where the wounds lie in the darkness of the world. Were they ever in a system of love, of caring, of identifying? Usually not. Here we make connections, not judgment, not condemnation, but life.
This is far from the condemnation of street preaching that has often become a common stereotype. The fire of the Holy Spirit is the only way to reach the cold and lonely heart of the world. We preach that God loves us, but he is going to send us to Hell? This is an inconsistent and irrational message, once analyzed. This comes from our Western mindset which is predominantly dichotomistic. In a dichotomy, we see things in a lower order thinking process of concrete thinking. In this mindset, we see things as either/or. Either or logic produces all or nothing thinking which in itself produces fallacies of logic. The word of God is more elegant than this, especially when we look into the actual Greek text. I am not saying that we have truths that are lost in translation, but rather that the English language is limited to the higher-order philosophical properties of Greek.
As a result, then, we can go beyond this limitation and see that God is not limited by this containment of thought. God is much more dynamic and alive. God is life. The life force is also concomitant by love. Love and life are inseparable. Asceticism, which today we generally refer to religiosity or extreme legalism, emerged in the early church by various cultic practices but was generally seen as heretical by the early church fathers, as compared to orthodox practices. Many of these Roman practices crept into the church and were not purged by the reformation.
In light of this, we can have the knowledge and wherewithal to attain practices that are higher than this.
Fundamentally, asceticism may arise from a misunderstanding of what sin is. Hebrew and Greek are languages that rely upon the imagery of a concept. This imagery helps to produce the idea that is being communicated. Both the Hebrew חָטָא and Greek ἁμαρτάνω words for sin have to do with a concept. The concept is that God has a tremendous plan for our lives, and sin means to be off the path for that. This means that sin is not in the behavior, but a state of being. When we make sin a list of behaviors, then we miss the point. To be human means that we will naturally move to escape pain and pursue pleasure, this is at the base of our survival mechanism. When we realize, however, that there is a larger scale situation taking place, we then understand the bigger picture.
God is love. He creates a journey for us. His plan for us is amazing. Missing this plan is the concept of sin. This helps us to understand a state of being rather than an activity. Would it be amazing if we actually walked in God’s love free of fear?
1 John 4:16 God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world, we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
How much of our religious activity involves fear? Have we truly embraced the message of 1st John in a manner that is transformative to our lives, our mind, and our relationships? This talks about being made perfect in love. Wow, what a concept, what a lifestyle? This internal transformation would cause massive external results.
Understanding the power of love.
In the Western world, we tend to think in a dichotomy of thought. In other words, we tend to think in left/right, either/or, black or white. The Bible, coming from an Eastern perspective, thinks I’m dualism and balance. This then helps us understand the principle of love. I have a dear friend, Richy Petrello, who likes to use the term sloppy agape, to signify weak and placid Christianity.
On the antithetical side, I would propose a different paradigm of looking at love. When I lived in Japan I became annoyed and angry at someone who was giving me difficulty in the application of my ministry efforts. To be honest, I wanted to physically fight this person, the conflict had risen to that level. When I was Military Police in the Army, I was trained in Judo. During this time, I was praying for God’s guidance. I came across a Japanese class on Aikido. This fascinated me since it is considered one of the most powerful martial arts in the world. The word ai means love, ki, is your inner spirit, and do means your path.
Morei Uashiba, who descended from a long line of Samaria, was praying one day asked the universe what is the most powerful force and the most powerful God was?
Unto him appeared the God of love (ai). Therefore The God of Love is the most powerful force in the world. Beyond this reality, we have the realization that God does not just possess love but that God is love. When we move in love we move in God, which is the most powerful force in the world. In the West, we tend to view love as a weakness, however, from the Japanese perspective, it is the most powerful force in the world. Love is balance,harmony and groundedness. Anything that comes against it is automatically weaker. In the practice of the art, one is invincible.
Within the art one creates a dynamic circle of love, balance and harmony around them. Therefore, anything that enters this circle is automatically weaker and unbalanced. As a result, love is ultimately stronger. Imagine using this as a way and philosophy of life.
We can then operate in pure love, everywhere that we go. Our life becomes one of peace and harmony. I have used this art in my life. When I was in graduate school, I worked as a bounty hunter for income. Every Time someone came into my dynamic circle, I could easily dispel their attack and it would naturally turn on them. Seeing the effectiveness of this, I was encouraged even further to pursue the power of love in all things.
How would this radically transform our attempts to do ministry?
How would this paradigm shift radically transform our churches?
It all starts with healthy communication with our families and the building of a transformative culture that attracts the world.
God is love and God exists eternally as Trinity in relationship with himself. Wow, just think of this. This is the core of everything. Love, relationship and joy...and how do we reproduce this. This should transform our thinking into engagement instead of confrontation.
The gift of engagement means that one has to quit trying to look out for themselves and become open to others. This starts by loving yourself. As we learn to love ourselves we then start loving and celebrating others while breaking the bonds of narcissism. The way we treat ourselves, subconsciously, projects onto others. Therefore, the more we love ourselves the more we love others. This is counterintuitive. The more we loathe and we criticize ourselves the more we loathe and criticize others.
When you learn to love yourself, others stop annoying you.this is not a surface love, but a deep subconscious transformation. Loving yourself is part of the greatest commandment.
Selfish people, ironically do not love themselves. Rather they loathe themselves. This self-loathing causes them to overcompensate by being self-occupied. Then they must judge, shame, and criticize others around them to feel better about themselves. There is no self-love there. The human tendency then is to project outwardly the internal perception of self. So then if we truly love ourselves then we will project love outwardly.
This requires a high degree of self-awareness. Self-awareness is a journey of emotional self-regulation. One must develop a sense of insight in order to realize that they are responsible for their own emotional content. This may seem simplistic, however, this endeavor has escaped humanity throughout the ages.
Most individuals find that they project their feelings onto others rather than emotionally regulating themselves. A key to this is to develop the maturity to stop trying to fix your feelings. When we feel bad, we generally look for someone to blame and then we displace our bad feelings on them. This skews reality and creates cognitive distortion in our own view. This is the source of much of the conflict that is caused in the church today. The world is looking for an alternative of this conflict that exists in darkness. When they come into the light, they are in search of harmony. Remember, harmony is a big part of love. When I used the example of Ai Ki Do, remember that Ai stood for love and harmony, Ki stands for stability in your inner spirit, and Do stands for your path, your quest for growth and excellence. One cannot achieve this when they are full of distortion and inner conflict. Taking responsibility for one's self is key. When I was training with a NeuroPsychiatrist, he used to use an example to understand this. He said that all feelings come from inside of us. No one can give us a feeling, but rather, others trigger old emotions that are stored in our Limbic system of the brain. If someone were to give a person enough benzodiazepines to slow the movement of the Limbic system, that person would not care what anyone did to them. Now, let me be clear, I am not suggesting that we give our congregants benzodiazepines, but rather let us be clear that we have the responsibility to regulate our emotions. How then do we do this?
First, we feel our emotions. When someone “triggers” our Limbic system an automatic process of fight or flight comes in. It would be unhealthy to avoid our stuff this emotion since this leads to other problems. Rather, we should feel that emotion and realize that this is our emotion. Take a deep breath and let it run through our bodies. Realize, that feeling are really not good or bad, they are body responses to various thought processes. Secondly, realize that this emotion is our emotion and that we can choose to respond to the emotion however we want to. When someone triggers us, it is usually an issue in our lives, not our lives, that they are projecting onto us. For example, critical people do not like themselves. Therefore they go around criticizing themselves. This criticism spills out from their subconscious minds and gets projecting onto others. Therefore, their criticism is not really about the subject they are criticizing but a cognitive distortion that is being generated from their minds. Learning to emotionally regulate internally takes individuals to a greater level of self-awareness that produces greater harmony, and therefore love.
Love is contagious. Love will extend through the world in the most powerful way. Love is transformative. Love, however, is a trifecta. One must Love God, Love Others, and then Love Themselves. Loving yourself seems simple, however, this requires a permutation into the subconscious. One must ask how do we perceive and receive love. As children, was love given to us freely or was love quid pro quo? Quid pro quo creates a filter of how we perceive things. Before addressing this, let us first abandon the oversimplified dichotomy of works and grace. Works and grace is a relatively new dichotomy that was not present in the New Testament thought process. These concepts were actually an emergence of thought that came about as gentiles began to encounter Christianity. When gentiles began to encounter Christianity, this diverse people group began to encounter a sect of Judaism.
This is a missing link in the church since this creates a barrier to love. Think about the primary scripture of Unity in the body of Christ. Now let us examine the text of Ephesians Chapter Four in a new light.
Unity in the Body of Christ is at the core of Ephesians 4
Unity and Maturity in the Body of Christ
1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
If you notice in this pericope that Paul is exerting that we protect unity. He does this with the imagery of the Godhead and the Holy Church of God. Love and unity are not simply Christian values, but rather an essential aspect of the nature of God. God exists eternally in one nature, but three beings. God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit are in eternal relationship with one another. This is paramount as a basis of our understanding in all things. God is one, God is three, this is the mystery of the eternal relationship that produces unity and love. We are created in his image and we are created to exemplify love and unity.
7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8 This is why it[fn] says:
“When he ascended on high,
he took many captives
and gave gifts to his people.”[fn]
9 (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions[fn]? 10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.)
This is a loaded passage. Paul is packing this package with Hebrew imagery and calling upon second Temple literary sources. This passage is demonstrating to the thought patterns of the day that Jesus has now gained power over the nations that formerly were in the bonds of the enemy. This may seem obvious, however, a greater meaning is impacted upon the minds of the readers of the time. This is that the nations that are ruled by principalities in force are now given to the Lord's kingdom and we have the authority to take them back through the five ministry gifts. At this point, we may have to forget what we think we know about these gifts and then transform our thoughts to a new image to regain the proper understanding.
11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up
It is interesting that Paul chose the word Apostle (ἀποστόλους) to lead this list. This term has a component of an ambassador in its meaning. Here the kingdom of God is put in place. In Deuteronomy 32:8, God divides the nations, but for himself he keeps Israel. Now, we have the power to take the nations back. The nations were assigned to other divine beings, and Israel was assigned to Yewah. Now, we have the power to take the nations back and what gives us the power to take the nations back is the five fold ministry gifts, and unity in the Body of Christ. Now, do you see why there's so much conflict in Church today? Yes, it is the struggle that we face. This is why, in the next Chapter of Ephesians Paul tells us this:
Ephesians 6:12New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore, we are given the next verse:
13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.
This is what gives us the power to take back the nations. When I did missions work in Japan, I never had to walk them through getting saved. Instead, we showed them love and respect, and the love and unity of Christ pulled them into salvation.
15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Instructions for Christian Living
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”[fn]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
What a powerful illustration of what God does in our lives.
Here we see that love and unity are directly operant with the ministry gifts and the operation of the charismata.
Therefore we can see that those operating outside of love and unity are operating in counterfeit gifts.
Love and unity are so important since this is the core nature of God!
Love and unity is who God is, not just an attribute of God. God exists eternally in a relationship with himself. This is ultimately love and unity in perfection. This is ultimate holiness...wholeness.
The completeness with God. This is ultimately the goal. However, to be in a relationship one must be in relationships with themselves. What does this mean?
Individuals do not realize that they are not integrated with themselves. This comes from layering Pain reactionary numbness on those layers. This makes relationships superficial, even and especially with your self.
Individuals seek various methodologies to cover their true self including religiosity. This comes in the form of quid pro quo relationships. In other words, they go about life with a scorecard attempting to earn God’s love. This is a form of narcissistic wound protection. These individuals have to feel that they are doing more righteous transactions than others so they can put others down in order to feel better about themselves. They are always busy with some type of spiritual pursuit.
The quandary is that this very activity produces a barrier to authentic relationships.
Colossians 2:6-23 Deals with this scenario:
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,
7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces[fn] of this world rather than on Christ.
9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form,
10 and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.
11 In him you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands. Your whole self ruled by the flesh[fn] was put off when you were circumcised by[fn] Christ,
12 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.
13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you[fn] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,
14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.
15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.[fn]
16 Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.
17 These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.
18 Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you. Such a person also goes into great detail about what they have seen; they are puffed up with idle notions by their unspiritual mind.
19 They have lost connection with the head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:
21 "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"?
22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings.
23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
I am not speaking about antinomianism, but rather relationship-based cognitive behavior. This requires self-awareness that helps one realize those things that neurotically drives them. We are neurotically driven by avoidance, projection, denial, reaction formation and other defense mechanisms.
The reason someone covers their true self is deep-seated pain, shame, guilt, and wounds. These wounds generally developed the first seven years of life as this corresponds to the development of the limbic system. The limbic system is our emotional, instinctual, and sometimes irrational part of our brain.
Primarily the Limbic system runs off of dopamine and is formed the first seven years of our life and services as the seat of our emotive functioning. This apparatus of the brain is designed to give us a foundation for life. Basically, the interaction of the mother and father form the internal mechanism of the subconscious that serves as an operating system for the electrochemical function of the brain for the rest of one’s life. The early brain assimilates the information presented to it which becomes the subconscious primal structure. This information structure feeds information to who we are in our identity structure. Our emotive responses are based here and we interact with our environment this way.
When this structure was wounded and or neglected, this forms a worldwide paradigm of interaction with the outside environment. This pain, however, cannot be left open every day, therefore individuals select various things to protect themselves. The church becomes something that can be used since it permeates so much of our lives. Church and faith, however, gets warped due to the subconscious underlying pain. Instead of life-giving relationship-oriented faith, it becomes an exercise in self-flagellation, then this gets outwardly projected in judgment and quid -pro - quo criticism.
This quenches our abilities to reach the world. The law was not designed for salvation and Satan is legalistic, not God. God is a relationship, not rules. The law was an accommodation designed to bring the children of Israel to a place of desperation from the other nations, The Law was never designed to save us. The law was designed to prophetically foreshadow the coming of the Messiah and desperate Israel as a nation of priests until the Messiah is revealed. Salvation was always through faith and the Hebrew word for faith had it meaning and etymology in a relationship. This relationship was both internal and congruent within the individual and external through relationships.
God exists eternally in a relationship. God is Holy. This means that he is a special type of entity, separate and existing eternally in relationship within the Trinity, and abounding in love. This is true in the Old Testament as much as it is in the New Testament. In Western culture, we tend to lean toward a Marcion type dichotomous view. Some of our Western mindset misunderstandings comes from seeing God as a Jealous and vengeful God. This comes from a peripheral reading of the texts, without proper cultural analysis and proper hermeneutics. Now reimage God from our New Testament revelation and see his love and holiness (uniqueness.) This makes God a zealous God for his children and a protective God for his children, as a good father. This moves God from a temperamental, emotionally unstable God, to a family loving head.
Now, this should become inverse and congruent within us, and bring internal peace. Many avoid this due to internal pain that they would rather scab over instead of dealing with.
The human has two basic choices here. One is to open their heart and let down their defenses and heal. However, This is not possible in any case due to ongoing emotional pain and or abuse. Due to this, individuals develop a barrier to prevent pain. This barrier causes them to lose touch with themselves, and therefore they lose touch with others. When this happens, they develop alternative barriers to deal with this. This could be drugs, sex, alcohol, or even church. Yes, Church. The Difference is, this is a church without love. Since they cannot love themselves, due to this barrier, then they cannot love others. Since they cannot love others, then they get involved with a view of God that is quid pro quo and control.
True love is self-sacrificing. True love is the expression of Jesus giving himself for us. In unhealthy relationships, love is quid pro quo. If I do this for you, then you do this for me. There is an element that one must earn love, one must work for love. This is the opposite of the love portrayed in the gospel.
The problem here is that this becomes normative. As a result, then, these individuals project quid pro quo upon everyone.
The Golden Calf vs. Intimate Relationship
When Yahweh revealed himself on mount Sinai, he did so to be with his people. Moses visited God and glowed. He was illuminated. The people, however, were not ready for an intimate relationship. Instead of an all-powerful God to come to, they made something they could control. A calf was common Canaanite imagery and was something familiar to the people.
Individuals tend to gravitate toward familiarity than correctness. If it is familiar to react to cover pain instead of thinking correctly, individuals will default to covering their pain. This prevents healing and authenticity.
At this point then, we should work to determine how to peel back the layers to authenticity. In order to do this, we must look at where these layers began. These layers began with the alcoholic father, the unfaithful mother, the abuse and neglect in childhood. These events were crippling to the individual psyche. The ability to be at ease with oneself was erased, and replaced with coping mechanisms that actually prevent authentic relationships.
It is truly like being the happy clown on the outside and sad clown on the inside, working vigorously to avoid true emotion.
In order to build God's Church, it is essential that we work together with the five-fold ministry gifts. This is the Ephesian’s methodology of building the church through the power of the Holy Spirit and the book of Acts. Just because I mentioned the power of the Holy Spirit please do not be afraid to apply this methodology to any type of Christian Church. Your church does not have to be Pentecostal or charismatic in order to apply the five-fold ministry gifts. The five-fold ministry gifts are a gift to all of the body of Christ.
One obstacle to this is our Western culture. The Bible comes from a Near Eastern culture, whereas we interpret things from Western culture. Western culture is individualistic. This means that we tend to compartmentalize the fivefold ministry. The work of the prophet, apostle, pastor, evangelist, and teacher. We tend to make these separate corporate offices.
Near Eastern culture is more collectivistic. In other words, there is more working together of these roles, which produces synergy. The collectivism creates a system of cooperation that does not happen in the West. In the West, the Pastoral gift is generally seen as the head of a church, and the evangelist is usually a guest speaker. When the guest speaker departs, then it is business back as usual.
So what does it mean to employ the ministry gifts? Ministry gifting comes from a deep-seated column that gives an individual a heart and passion for that gift. Evangelist has little time to listen to the cares and wounds of the congregation. The pastor has little time to grow his church in to reach out and transform his community. However, if we roll these together, a powerful synergistic dynamic occurs that manifests itself with a creative reality that will transform the local church and the community that the local church is engaged in.
So let's examine these two gifts in light of the work of Christ and see have these two giftings work together in a manner that will transform the world.
In order to gain an understanding and insight into these roles, we must disembark from our Western understanding and embrace the near Eastern understanding of the first century that we can eliminate the word meanings of what is going on.
the first usage of the word pastor comes from the book of Jeremiah Chapter 17 verse 16. It is important to examine the linguistics involved so that we can delve into the cultural milieu of the statement. As a result then, the Hebrew word used is is the word ra’ah
רָעָה .
Raah does mean to be a shepherd and leader, but it also means to graze and feed in the field of the Lord. The implication here is that for the Pastor, the Lord opens up a field for them to glean, to feed, to refresh themselves, as well as to lead the flock into the same activities. This means that the field gives the Pastor and the flock a sense of purpose. Now, let us examine this sense of purpose.
When Jesus called his disciples, he not only called them but also “called them”, giving them a sense of purpose. The word that was used in Greek is an interesting word. Again, it is important to look into the linguistics so that we gain a deeper meaning and not just a peripheral reading that we get in our own cultural setting.
It would be exactly like reading a letter without knowing the time period, linguistic intricacies, and the background of the authors. In modern English, speakers may use the word bad to connote something as bad or good, interchangeably.
The word that is used by the Greek word kaleo. Kaleo is interesting since it means to both call and to assign purpose and calling. When I do therapy with individuals, I find that they are often wounded in the area of identity. Identity wounds can lead to many difficulties in the ability to function with oneself and others.
The Goal of the Lord is to build us together in a holy temple. The problem here is that American Culture is an individualistic culture, whereas Near Eastern Culture (Biblical Culture) is a collectivistic or community culture. Due to this, Westerners are generally OK with staying an individual. The problem, however, is that we miss out on the transformation that occurs when we are collective. One can maintain a false self in an individualistic culture. However, within the transformation of authentic relationships, the true core of one’s identity is revealed. This core is raw and barren of mechanisms to hide. This then leads us to the ekkaelo, or the ekklessia nature of the kaleo. In this, we are called together to love God and each other, in an authentic manner. This requires a unity that is uncommon. Many individuals are not self-aware and lack authenticity with themselves. They use masks to hide their pain and shame that is accumulated around their psyche. Christ has raised us beyond this. We cannot love others until we learn to love ourselves. This may sound counter-intuitive, however, the New Testament deals with the term “soul” quite a bit. While individuals have given colloquial meaning to this term, the Greek term is actually psuche, where we develop the word psychology from. Science does not conflict with the Bible, rather, science is the quest for truth, the word of God is truth, therefore science complements the Bible. Within the concept of psychology, we discover that the manner to which we treat yourself in the subconscious mind is the manner to which we treat others. Therefore, if we hate ourselves, then we become critical and judgemental of others. If we love ourselves, we then lift others up. Selfishness, therefore, is a rendering of self-hate which becomes overcompensated through a need to feed oneself emotional content, at the expense of others. True self-love then become love for others.
The externalized conflict stems from the internalized conflict that was created within the subconscious mind in the family one grew up. Psychology is taunted by others in that there is a perception that Psychologist blames everything on childhood. This is not the case. However, The internalized subconscious conflict originates in the family one grew up since this part of the brain stops growing at around age seven. This emotional part of the brain internalizes and becomes the subconscious program that guides and directs the rest of the brain in a manner that is analogous to an operating system of a computer. I use this analogy since this analogy is close to the actual neuro morphological apparatus.
We carry old emotions from childhood, and these raw emotions get connected to new thoughts. These new thoughts and emotions seem new to us but are actually remnants of the programming of our subconscious in the limbic system of the brain. As a result then, if we are in conflict with ourselves, we remain in conflict with others. The Kaleo process of Jesus was one to confront an individual to confront themselves. In fact, there are ancient “sayings” scripts of Jesus that record this. Even without these scripts, one can determine the same meaning from the ancient usage of the Greek word kaleo.
How then do we make this practical? A system runs on information and transaction. The word of encouragement lifts others up. How many times do we see couples and or families arrive at church smiling, and then argue as soon as they get into the car to leave?
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
The only thing that should come out of our mouth is to build up instead of tear down. The family system, and the individual needs a kaleo activity of encouragement and activity of building one another up.
When my children were young, I understood that building them up was important. When they got in trouble, I had a phraseology that I used with them. I told them: You are a beautiful and wonderful child of God, your behavior does not match how awesome you are. Can you control your behavior?
This was a result of my study of the kaleo. Individuals behave from the position that they see themselves. If I tear down their self-image, they will behave that way. So then, I built up their self-esteem instead of tearing it down. This created an opportunity for them to think and evaluate themselves instead of control. Control is the opposite of a healthy relationship. Instead of control, we want to influence. Influence individuals to think for themselves produces healthy individuality in a way that creates health.
My sons became self-controlled adults and make excellent choices for themselves. It is important then to communicate the essential nature of God which is Love.
1 John 4:16
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
Kaleo also expresses confidence instead of fear. When we can abandon fear, we can grow beyond a timid infolding of the human identity, but rather rise in confidence in a manner that God can use us.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
When Jesus encountered his disciples, he brought them in as friends. He then encouraged them and transformed their identity from fishermen to fishers of men.
This incredible and transformative encounter follows the paradigm of the ultimate usage of the word kaleo.
I think that we have grafted an incorrect context of the New Testament Message. Jesus begins his ministry by stating repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. I think a Western reader reads this with the connotation that we must get our lives together and because the Kingdom is coming. In Matthew 4 we see Jesus preach:
17 From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”
Remember, Jesus puts this in the context of Isaiah 9 which tells the people they have seen a great light. Now let us examine this in the Greek.
4:17 ἀπὸ τότε ἤρξατο ὁ Ἰησοῦς κηρύσσειν καὶ λέγειν μετανοεῖτε ἤγγικεν γὰρ ἡ βασιλεία τῶν οὐρανῶν
Now, focus on the Greek word: μετανοέω metanoeō
This word means to transform the way you are thinking of things, the kingdom is open to you. The Western reading contains a judgmental tone, whereas the Greek rendering has a tone of hope and encouragement in line with the kaleo context. As a result, then, we go to the world to offer hope, not judgment.
John 3:
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
Jesus came to save the world, not to condemn the world. When Jesus came to preach the Kingdom, he came to preach the opportunity not condemnation. As a result, then, does the concept of Kaleo give us a new understanding? After Jesus brought his disciples into his company, he began a deeper form of encouragement called parakaleo.
The Greek terminology for encouragement is the parakaleo form. One could translate this with encouragement. An encouragement where someone stands beside you. Ministry is about encouragement. When dealing with human motivation, we find that encouragement is a positive motivator, which works much more effectively than a negative motivator, or punishment. When we get into the modality of “Hellfire and brimstone”, we are actually using the word of God incorrectly.
Jesus did not tell us to spread this message around the world, in fact, Jesus commanded us to share “good news”, this is what evangelism means.
The Hellfire and brimstone message comes from the apocalyptic genres of the Bible. The background to Apocalyptic books is that of great suffering upon God’s people, and God’s vengeance against their enemies. In the Old Testament, this would have been against Assyria and Babylon (Modern Day Syria and Iraq). In the New Testament, the apocalypse is against Nero and the corrupt Roman Empire of the time. Jesus never told sinners they were going to hell. The only hell messages, in the sayings of Jesus, were directed toward the Religious leaders. Jesus also uses the term “hell” to mock the religious leaders of the day. Jesus uses oriental hyperbole in the sermon on the mount about plucking out body members. This was a way of showing how ridiculous the teaching of the Pharisees was. Also, when Jesus taught, he used the word: γέεννα geenna. This word means the fire pit of the kidron valley. It is interesting that we have brought in the anachronism of medieval Greco-Roman hell imagery into our common theology.
How does this inform us? The power of life. The power of life opens the human soul (psyche). Unless the psyche changes there is no change. In my Doctoral Dissertation, I studied the question: What is true transformation? In other words, when does someone actually change? Behaviors are empowered by the thought process, the thought process is empowered by the underlying subconscious conditioning. This lies in the neuroconectivigy of the brain. When this changes at a deep level, then the actual structure of the neural connectivity changes (neuromorphology). There is no real change in behavior until all of these factors align. This will not happen unless someone actually opens the conditions of their psyche. No one will ever open this until they are brought into an environment where they will not feel condemned. This is why Jesus’ ministry was so effective. Jesus created an environment where a Rabbi accepted people. When we look to the ministry of Luke, we see a Messiah that is moved by the poor, the sinner, outcast women, lepers. Everyone else judged these people. Jesus moved them to openness. This is where real change comes from. The word repentance (metagnoia) does not mean to confess one's sin. The word repentance means opening one's mind to transformation.
Now, how to revolutionize the world with this reality? How then do we transform the lives of so many by coming to this state of the condition? This brings about so much power for opportunity and change. This is the power of kaleo. A call to newness, a call to openness, a call to opportunity. Further, this is something that everyone wants. Also, I am not teaching anything new. I am uncovering what was forgotten and bringing it to our current reality.
If we can embrace this, we connect with ancient truths that can radically change everything. This also brings us to the reality of Kaleo to Parakaleo. Parakaleo is when we exercise the reality of Kaleo with someone in an authentic Journey. This authentic journey feeds the human heart and soul what the average human existence does not. In modern society, we are electronically connected, however, modern humanity is lonelier than ever. When we Parakaleo, we do not just introduce someone with salvation, but we connect them into a body that is growing. Introducing someone into a growing body revolutionizes their lives.
In the west, it is an oversimplification to see salvation as simply a decision. A decision does not require parakaleo, however, parakaleo was essential to Jesus’ ministry. This may be in a cultural misunderstanding. During the second great awakening, salvation becomes more of a decision, from the latin deciso, which means to cut. This is a linear point in time when one sees oneself as saved and cut off from an old life. If we delve into the early church, we see a church that has not become the orthodox church that we know today. The early Church was diverse, and the early Church was near eastern in thought. The ministry outside of Jerusalem, of Paul and the Johannine community, was proto gnostic and proto orthodox. The community was also not individualistic, as we see ourselves in the Western world. The Church believed in the community, and believed that transformation took place in the community. As we know, decisions do not always lead to transformation. How many times have we told ourselves that we were going to give up on sweets, only to embrace those sweets later that same day? Transformation is much deeper. The word repent appears in the Synoptic Gospels, however, in the Fourth Gospel, there is no mention of the word. It is interesting that the core to salvific experience does not mention repentance. This would occur in John Chapter Three. John Three deals with belief, pistouo. This is a military term about faithfulness within a unit. When we go back to the possible Aramaic or Hebrew usage, the word would be Amam. This word is about the relationship. This word has a context of the community packed into it. This word is the symbolism of a mother nursing a child. Unless we have this relationship with God, we are without. This is much more than mental ascension. Now, when we go to the Synoptics, we reengage the concept of Repentance. This word is metagnoia. This too is much more than mental ascension. This has to do with the transformational cognitive process which is found in community and relationship. As a result, salvific experience occurs in community and relationship with help from others and encouragement, parakaleo. This then leads to ek-kaleo. To be encouraged out of the world and into a community of love and caring.
The next word usage come to the kaleo form that we translate as the Church. This is the word ek kaleo, which when put together comes to us as ekklesia. One could directly translate this as called out together. However, the meaning here is much deeper. One could say this means to be counseled together, the ones who are growing and transformed together. This also means to be identified together.
Identity is at the core of mental health. Most of the Psychological theories point back to the development of a healthy and stable identity as essentiality for mental health.
Knowing who one is developing the power to cope with life. One must know who they are in order to interact with the world around them. This, on a prima facie level, seems to be simple and straightforward. However, abusive and mentally unstable families produce individuals with an unhealthy identity. The Unstable identity leads to so many problems. Many teenagers today engage in drugs, illicit sex, and self-harm. These behaviors are generated from an unstable identity. This is why Kaleo/Parakaleo/Ekklesia is so important.
If we look back into the Bible, especially the Old Testament, we see a great deal of inculturation. Inculturation works to give individuals an identity. We are created in God’s image. Therefore, we should spend a lifetime helping others realize this tremendous potential within themselves. Since we are made in God’s likeness, then there is an eternity of potential that needs to be developed within us. Without the proper guidance and leadership, then this amazing identity sits in a disambiguous fog.
This fog becomes a void of emptiness and pain, seeking solace, without the creator's voice amplified into us. This becomes an amazing journey and effort. Taking the tabula rasa of a disfigured identity and painting a lovely portrait. Otherwise, the individuals drift through life in void and pain.
I have done therapy with these individuals. Parents do not realize that the home is the birthplace of positive relationships or evil. The first seven years of communication interactions get internalized into the subconscious mind. These become the behavior motivations that we are not aware of, without the growth of self-actualization. Again, think back to Jesus giving us Identity through kaleo and parakaleo. Are we responding the to the authentic call of the Master? The Authentic call of the master melts away falsehood. Why would I say this? There is a backside to all of this, or one may say, a dark side to all of this. Instead of allowing the revealing nature of the call, individuals respond to Christianity as a cover or scab to their pain which creates a chasm of seething mass that projects their pain on to others. So, instead of life flowing through the individual, the individual vomits and spews pain, criticism, and condemnation. This produces the family system of the children in pain with massive identity wounds, in many ways is the generation that we are working with today. Therefore, it is essential that we demask the unauthentic and heal under the scab, so that the scab is not needed anymore.
Inauthenticity is the core of evil. One day, while I was Pastoring, a mother came to me. She told me that she wanted me to talk to her son because she was afraid that he was at a risk of taking drugs. I met with her son. He was fifteen, highly intelligent, but socially awkward. I am a fan of science fiction, so I connected to him in that way. This is part of the Kaleo, Parakeleo process, to engage someone where they are with genuine love and care, and no judgement. He opened up to me. He told me that his mother attends every religious meeting in town. She pestered the day and makes him go to church. At church, she acts spiritual, but when she gets home she is highly critical and judges and gossips about everyone. The Kaleo process is about filling up the hearts of others with the life-giving good news of the gospel. This is not what was happening. This woman was hiding all of her pain and venom under a mask of religiosity. This produces rebellion in the heart of others. When the mother came to me asked me for a follow up with my meeting with her son, I did not sugar coat it. Before I tell you what I told her, I will prepare you. Sometimes the Lord takes over and says things that seem to come out of nowhere. At this time, I told this woman what she needed to hear. I told her that If I were her son I would definitely be thinking about taking drugs. She did not like what I had to say. At this time, however, she needed a confrontation with the truth. She left my church, and I was glad. If someone cannot endure the truth, then they need to go somewhere else.
2 Timothy 4:3
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
When, as men and women of God, we do not judge people, but we must confront people with the truth, in love.
2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction.
Kaleo operates in love, however, it is not afraid to speak the truth. I cannot tell you a technique here, but rather, this comes from a dynamic relationship with the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of wisdom that will guide you into all things. This is where we must lay down our own agendas and take up the mission of the Lord.
John 16:13 “When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” In this verse, Jesus is speaking to His disciples about the Holy Spirit.
Speaking of the Holy Spirit, Parakaleo is used in reference to him. Parakaleo takes on the form of Paraklete. Paraklete is the personified counselor that dwells within us. In this instance, we have a divine presence that is counseling us. We are being comforted and counseled as we listen to the direction of the Holy Spirit.
This is a divine transformative process that walks among us. We can listen to the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit, as our counselor guides us into all truth. In this way we see a synergistic model forming that allies our life that we live with the power of the Holy Spirit to walk through our daily living.
The Holy Spirit activates the kaleo model in a manner to transform the individual.
In Western society, we have a tendency to see things in a linear static perspective, instead of a dynamic systemic perspective. Kaleo, is one of those words. Kaleo becomes alive, dynamic, systemic concept. Today, it seems that evangelism seems segmented. In other words, there is no handoff. One gets saved, then one goes to church where they are cared for and disciplined. However, is this a system? Is this a thriving process? Is this intentional? Or, does this come together by accident, or serendipity, depending on how it is viewed? The body of Christ needs to come together and be connected. When we are connected we can then pursue a system and a process that is alive and dynamic.
The dynamics of the system are in the process of looking. When we are on fire by the Holy Spirit, we then have the radiance, the glow, the warmth, and the attraction of God. This is our conduit to the world. The heart of God is in the world, not out of the world. When we want to find the heart of God, we find it in the world. By going into the world, we light up the darkness with the fire of the Holy Spirit. This is the beacon to mankind. We do not have to search hard for people, people will be drawn to our light. We must be equipped with the life-giving kaleo calling in our hearts, and ready to share that comfort and call with others. When we open our mouths, we are opening our hearts to that calling. The life-giving word crosses the gap to the heart of the individual and offers a great plan for them. Do they know that God has a tremendous plan, destiny, and the future for them? Have they ever heard this before? Kaleo brings life and love together to the darkness and the loneliness of the human heart and bridges the gap of separation into the inclusion of a system and identity. This is where the wounds lie in the darkness of the world. Were they ever in a system of love, of caring, of identifying? Usually not. Here we make connections, not judgment, not condemnation, but life.
This is far from the condemnation of street preaching that has often become a common stereotype. The fire of the Holy Spirit is the only way to reach the cold and lonely heart of the world. We preach that God loves us, but he is going to send us to Hell? This is an inconsistent and irrational message, once analyzed. This comes from our Western mindset which is predominantly dichotomistic. In a dichotomy, we see things in a lower order thinking process of concrete thinking. In this mindset, we see things as either/or. Either or logic produces all or nothing thinking which in itself produces fallacies of logic. The word of God is more elegant than this, especially when we look into the actual Greek text. I am not saying that we have truths that are lost in translation, but rather that the English language is limited to the higher-order philosophical properties of Greek.
As a result, then, we can go beyond this limitation and see that God is not limited by this containment of thought. God is much more dynamic and alive. God is life. The life force is also concomitant by love. Love and life are inseparable. Asceticism, which today we generally refer to religiosity or extreme legalism, emerged in the early church by various cultic practices but was generally seen as heretical by the early church fathers, as compared to orthodox practices. Many of these Roman practices crept into the church and were not purged by the reformation.
In light of this, we can have the knowledge and wherewithal to attain practices that are higher than this.
Fundamentally, asceticism may arise from a misunderstanding of what sin is. Hebrew and Greek are languages that rely upon the imagery of a concept. This imagery helps to produce the idea that is being communicated. Both the Hebrew חָטָא and Greek ἁμαρτάνω words for sin have to do with a concept. The concept is that God has a tremendous plan for our lives, and sin means to be off the path for that. This means that sin is not in the behavior, but a state of being. When we make sin a list of behaviors, then we miss the point. To be human means that we will naturally move to escape pain and pursue pleasure, this is at the base of our survival mechanism. When we realize, however, that there is a larger scale situation taking place, we then understand the bigger picture.
God is love. He creates a journey for us. His plan for us is amazing. Missing this plan is the concept of sin. This helps us to understand a state of being rather than an activity. Would it be amazing if we actually walked in God’s love free of fear?
1 John 4:16 God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world, we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
How much of our religious activity involves fear? Have we truly embraced the message of 1st John in a manner that is transformative to our lives, our mind, and our relationships? This talks about being made perfect in love. Wow, what a concept, what a lifestyle? This internal transformation would cause massive external results.
Understanding the power of love.
In the Western world, we tend to think in a dichotomy of thought. In other words, we tend to think in left/right, either/or, black or white. The Bible, coming from an Eastern perspective, thinks I’m dualism and balance. This then helps us understand the principle of love. I have a dear friend, Richy Petrello, who likes to use the term sloppy agape, to signify weak and placid Christianity.
On the antithetical side, I would propose a different paradigm of looking at love. When I lived in Japan I became annoyed and angry at someone who was giving me difficulty in the application of my ministry efforts. To be honest, I wanted to physically fight this person, the conflict had risen to that level. When I was Military Police in the Army, I was trained in Judo. During this time, I was praying for God’s guidance. I came across a Japanese class on Aikido. This fascinated me since it is considered one of the most powerful martial arts in the world. The word ai means love, ki, is your inner spirit, and do means your path.
Morei Uashiba, who descended from a long line of Samaria, was praying one day asked the universe what is the most powerful force and the most powerful God was?
Unto him appeared the God of love (ai). Therefore The God of Love is the most powerful force in the world. Beyond this reality, we have the realization that God does not just possess love but that God is love. When we move in love we move in God, which is the most powerful force in the world. In the West, we tend to view love as a weakness, however, from the Japanese perspective, it is the most powerful force in the world. Love is balance,harmony and groundedness. Anything that comes against it is automatically weaker. In the practice of the art, one is invincible.
Within the art one creates a dynamic circle of love, balance and harmony around them. Therefore, anything that enters this circle is automatically weaker and unbalanced. As a result, love is ultimately stronger. Imagine using this as a way and philosophy of life.
We can then operate in pure love, everywhere that we go. Our life becomes one of peace and harmony. I have used this art in my life. When I was in graduate school, I worked as a bounty hunter for income. Every Time someone came into my dynamic circle, I could easily dispel their attack and it would naturally turn on them. Seeing the effectiveness of this, I was encouraged even further to pursue the power of love in all things.
How would this radically transform our attempts to do ministry?
How would this paradigm shift radically transform our churches?
It all starts with healthy communication with our families and the building of a transformative culture that attracts the world.
God is love and God exists eternally as Trinity in relationship with himself. Wow, just think of this. This is the core of everything. Love, relationship and joy...and how do we reproduce this. This should transform our thinking into engagement instead of confrontation.
The gift of engagement means that one has to quit trying to look out for themselves and become open to others. This starts by loving yourself. As we learn to love ourselves we then start loving and celebrating others while breaking the bonds of narcissism. The way we treat ourselves, subconsciously, projects onto others. Therefore, the more we love ourselves the more we love others. This is counterintuitive. The more we loathe and we criticize ourselves the more we loathe and criticize others.
When you learn to love yourself, others stop annoying you.this is not a surface love, but a deep subconscious transformation. Loving yourself is part of the greatest commandment.
Selfish people, ironically do not love themselves. Rather they loathe themselves. This self-loathing causes them to overcompensate by being self-occupied. Then they must judge, shame, and criticize others around them to feel better about themselves. There is no self-love there. The human tendency then is to project outwardly the internal perception of self. So then if we truly love ourselves then we will project love outwardly.
This requires a high degree of self-awareness. Self-awareness is a journey of emotional self-regulation. One must develop a sense of insight in order to realize that they are responsible for their own emotional content. This may seem simplistic, however, this endeavor has escaped humanity throughout the ages.
Most individuals find that they project their feelings onto others rather than emotionally regulating themselves. A key to this is to develop the maturity to stop trying to fix your feelings. When we feel bad, we generally look for someone to blame and then we displace our bad feelings on them. This skews reality and creates cognitive distortion in our own view. This is the source of much of the conflict that is caused in the church today. The world is looking for an alternative of this conflict that exists in darkness. When they come into the light, they are in search of harmony. Remember, harmony is a big part of love. When I used the example of Ai Ki Do, remember that Ai stood for love and harmony, Ki stands for stability in your inner spirit, and Do stands for your path, your quest for growth and excellence. One cannot achieve this when they are full of distortion and inner conflict. Taking responsibility for one's self is key. When I was training with a NeuroPsychiatrist, he used to use an example to understand this. He said that all feelings come from inside of us. No one can give us a feeling, but rather, others trigger old emotions that are stored in our Limbic system of the brain. If someone were to give a person enough benzodiazepines to slow the movement of the Limbic system, that person would not care what anyone did to them. Now, let me be clear, I am not suggesting that we give our congregants benzodiazepines, but rather let us be clear that we have the responsibility to regulate our emotions. How then do we do this?
First, we feel our emotions. When someone “triggers” our Limbic system an automatic process of fight or flight comes in. It would be unhealthy to avoid our stuff this emotion since this leads to other problems. Rather, we should feel that emotion and realize that this is our emotion. Take a deep breath and let it run through our bodies. Realize, that feeling are really not good or bad, they are body responses to various thought processes. Secondly, realize that this emotion is our emotion and that we can choose to respond to the emotion however we want to. When someone triggers us, it is usually an issue in our lives, not our lives, that they are projecting onto us. For example, critical people do not like themselves. Therefore they go around criticizing themselves. This criticism spills out from their subconscious minds and gets projecting onto others. Therefore, their criticism is not really about the subject they are criticizing but a cognitive distortion that is being generated from their minds. Learning to emotionally regulate internally takes individuals to a greater level of self-awareness that produces greater harmony, and therefore love.
Love is contagious. Love will extend through the world in the most powerful way. Love is transformative. Love, however, is a trifecta. One must Love God, Love Others, and then Love Themselves. Loving yourself seems simple, however, this requires a permutation into the subconscious. One must ask how do we perceive and receive love. As children, was love given to us freely or was love quid pro quo? Quid pro quo creates a filter of how we perceive things. Before addressing this, let us first abandon the oversimplified dichotomy of works and grace. Works and grace is a relatively new dichotomy that was not present in the New Testament thought process. These concepts were actually an emergence of thought that came about as gentiles began to encounter Christianity. When gentiles began to encounter Christianity, this diverse people group began to encounter a sect of Judaism.
This is a missing link in the church since this creates a barrier to love. Think about the primary scripture of Unity in the body of Christ. Now let us examine the text of Ephesians Chapter Four in a new light.
Unity in the Body of Christ is at the core of Ephesians 4
Unity and Maturity in the Body of Christ
1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
If you notice in this pericope that Paul is exerting that we protect unity. He does this with the imagery of the Godhead and the Holy Church of God. Love and unity are not simply Christian values, but rather an essential aspect of the nature of God. God exists eternally in one nature, but three beings. God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit are in eternal relationship with one another. This is paramount as a basis of our understanding in all things. God is one, God is three, this is the mystery of the eternal relationship that produces unity and love. We are created in his image and we are created to exemplify love and unity.
7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8 This is why it[fn] says:
“When he ascended on high,
he took many captives
and gave gifts to his people.”[fn]
9 (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions[fn]? 10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.)
This is a loaded passage. Paul is packing this package with Hebrew imagery and calling upon second Temple literary sources. This passage is demonstrating to the thought patterns of the day that Jesus has now gained power over the nations that formerly were in the bonds of the enemy. This may seem obvious, however, a greater meaning is impacted upon the minds of the readers of the time. This is that the nations that are ruled by principalities in force are now given to the Lord's kingdom and we have the authority to take them back through the five ministry gifts. At this point, we may have to forget what we think we know about these gifts and then transform our thoughts to a new image to regain the proper understanding.
11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up
It is interesting that Paul chose the word Apostle (ἀποστόλους) to lead this list. This term has a component of an ambassador in its meaning. Here the kingdom of God is put in place. In Deuteronomy 32:8, God divides the nations, but for himself he keeps Israel. Now, we have the power to take the nations back. The nations were assigned to other divine beings, and Israel was assigned to Yewah. Now, we have the power to take the nations back and what gives us the power to take the nations back is the five fold ministry gifts, and unity in the Body of Christ. Now, do you see why there's so much conflict in Church today? Yes, it is the struggle that we face. This is why, in the next Chapter of Ephesians Paul tells us this:
Ephesians 6:12New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore, we are given the next verse:
13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.
This is what gives us the power to take back the nations. When I did missions work in Japan, I never had to walk them through getting saved. Instead, we showed them love and respect, and the love and unity of Christ pulled them into salvation.
15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Instructions for Christian Living
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”[fn]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
What a powerful illustration of what God does in our lives.
Here we see that love and unity are directly operant with the ministry gifts and the operation of the charismata.
Therefore we can see that those operating outside of love and unity are operating in counterfeit gifts.
Love and unity are so important since this is the core nature of God!
Love and unity is who God is, not just an attribute of God. God exists eternally in a relationship with himself. This is ultimately love and unity in perfection. This is ultimate holiness...wholeness.
The completeness with God. This is ultimately the goal. However, to be in a relationship one must be in relationships with themselves. What does this mean?
Individuals do not realize that they are not integrated with themselves. This comes from layering Pain reactionary numbness on those layers. This makes relationships superficial, even and especially with your self.
Individuals seek various methodologies to cover their true self including religiosity. This comes in the form of quid pro quo relationships. In other words, they go about life with a scorecard attempting to earn God’s love. This is a form of narcissistic wound protection. These individuals have to feel that they are doing more righteous transactions than others so they can put others down in order to feel better about themselves. They are always busy with some type of spiritual pursuit.
The quandary is that this very activity produces a barrier to authentic relationships.
Colossians 2:6-23 Deals with this scenario:
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,
7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces[fn] of this world rather than on Christ.
9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form,
10 and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.
11 In him you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands. Your whole self ruled by the flesh[fn] was put off when you were circumcised by[fn] Christ,
12 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.
13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you[fn] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,
14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.
15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.[fn]
16 Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.
17 These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.
18 Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you. Such a person also goes into great detail about what they have seen; they are puffed up with idle notions by their unspiritual mind.
19 They have lost connection with the head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:
21 "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"?
22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings.
23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
I am not speaking about antinomianism, but rather relationship-based cognitive behavior. This requires self-awareness that helps one realize those things that neurotically drives them. We are neurotically driven by avoidance, projection, denial, reaction formation and other defense mechanisms.
The reason someone covers their true self is deep-seated pain, shame, guilt, and wounds. These wounds generally developed the first seven years of life as this corresponds to the development of the limbic system. The limbic system is our emotional, instinctual, and sometimes irrational part of our brain.
Primarily the Limbic system runs off of dopamine and is formed the first seven years of our life and services as the seat of our emotive functioning. This apparatus of the brain is designed to give us a foundation for life. Basically, the interaction of the mother and father form the internal mechanism of the subconscious that serves as an operating system for the electrochemical function of the brain for the rest of one’s life. The early brain assimilates the information presented to it which becomes the subconscious primal structure. This information structure feeds information to who we are in our identity structure. Our emotive responses are based here and we interact with our environment this way.
When this structure was wounded and or neglected, this forms a worldwide paradigm of interaction with the outside environment. This pain, however, cannot be left open every day, therefore individuals select various things to protect themselves. The church becomes something that can be used since it permeates so much of our lives. Church and faith, however, gets warped due to the subconscious underlying pain. Instead of life-giving relationship-oriented faith, it becomes an exercise in self-flagellation, then this gets outwardly projected in judgment and quid -pro - quo criticism.
This quenches our abilities to reach the world. The law was not designed for salvation and Satan is legalistic, not God. God is a relationship, not rules. The law was an accommodation designed to bring the children of Israel to a place of desperation from the other nations, The Law was never designed to save us. The law was designed to prophetically foreshadow the coming of the Messiah and desperate Israel as a nation of priests until the Messiah is revealed. Salvation was always through faith and the Hebrew word for faith had it meaning and etymology in a relationship. This relationship was both internal and congruent within the individual and external through relationships.
God exists eternally in a relationship. God is Holy. This means that he is a special type of entity, separate and existing eternally in relationship within the Trinity, and abounding in love. This is true in the Old Testament as much as it is in the New Testament. In Western culture, we tend to lean toward a Marcion type dichotomous view. Some of our Western mindset misunderstandings comes from seeing God as a Jealous and vengeful God. This comes from a peripheral reading of the texts, without proper cultural analysis and proper hermeneutics. Now reimage God from our New Testament revelation and see his love and holiness (uniqueness.) This makes God a zealous God for his children and a protective God for his children, as a good father. This moves God from a temperamental, emotionally unstable God, to a family loving head.
Now, this should become inverse and congruent within us, and bring internal peace. Many avoid this due to internal pain that they would rather scab over instead of dealing with.
The human has two basic choices here. One is to open their heart and let down their defenses and heal. However, This is not possible in any case due to ongoing emotional pain and or abuse. Due to this, individuals develop a barrier to prevent pain. This barrier causes them to lose touch with themselves, and therefore they lose touch with others. When this happens, they develop alternative barriers to deal with this. This could be drugs, sex, alcohol, or even church. Yes, Church. The Difference is, this is a church without love. Since they cannot love themselves, due to this barrier, then they cannot love others. Since they cannot love others, then they get involved with a view of God that is quid pro quo and control.
True love is self-sacrificing. True love is the expression of Jesus giving himself for us. In unhealthy relationships, love is quid pro quo. If I do this for you, then you do this for me. There is an element that one must earn love, one must work for love. This is the opposite of the love portrayed in the gospel.
The problem here is that this becomes normative. As a result, then, these individuals project quid pro quo upon everyone.
The Golden Calf vs. Intimate Relationship
When Yahweh revealed himself on mount Sinai, he did so to be with his people. Moses visited God and glowed. He was illuminated. The people, however, were not ready for an intimate relationship. Instead of an all-powerful God to come to, they made something they could control. A calf was common Canaanite imagery and was something familiar to the people.
Individuals tend to gravitate toward familiarity than correctness. If it is familiar to react to cover pain instead of thinking correctly, individuals will default to covering their pain. This prevents healing and authenticity.
At this point then, we should work to determine how to peel back the layers to authenticity. In order to do this, we must look at where these layers began. These layers began with the alcoholic father, the unfaithful mother, the abuse and neglect in childhood. These events were crippling to the individual psyche. The ability to be at ease with oneself was erased, and replaced with coping mechanisms that actually prevent authentic relationships.
It is truly like being the happy clown on the outside and sad clown on the inside, working vigorously to avoid true emotion.
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